its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
