he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
