It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
