dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
