Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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