Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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