I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
