Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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