If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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