Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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