remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
