You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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