I'm going to jail i love you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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