we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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