Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
