i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
