i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh god it's open bar.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
