Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
