If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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