i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
