i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
