Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
