I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
