Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need water and some morals
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
