Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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