either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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