carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
that is very illegal...i love you.
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