she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
