I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
