Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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