He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
