The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
