her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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