He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
