So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
