k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize