Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
