I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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