I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
