What a fucking waste of an outfit
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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