She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
