did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
