Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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