I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
