just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
