the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
