I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
