My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
