I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
