she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
