After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
