forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
