His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
