He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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