Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my poor anus
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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