wakey wakey hands off snakey
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
